What we feel and experience is overwhelming.
On October 29th 2020, Avigail was born at 25.4 weeks of pregnancy.
After being in the birth canal for 7.5 hours, so that Mom could still be driven to the right hospital by ambulance, Avigail was born small but complete.
Her creator breathed life's breath into her, our brave little girl was crying.
Doctors took care of her right away. Instead of being able to hold her, we as parents handed her over into the hands of professionals but also into G-d's hand.
Even in her mother's womb her life depends on Him, so we could now trust her without fear on G-d's good care.
We had already seen many small and large miracles that day and we knew that there were many more to come.
That day began intensive prayer (and candles lit) for Avigail, us as parents, Yosef, and our families.
Prayer in the Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Portugal, Hungary, Israel, South Africa, America and maybe even more countries.
Since February 12th, Avigail has been coming to our home after 107 days in hospital. Doctors can no longer do anything for Avigail's life. All professionals in the hospital have been sidelined after all the good and dear care. Avigail's brain damage is too big, the fluid in her head too much and untreatable.
On February 16th, it seemed we had to let here go very soon, and the ‘prayer and fasting’ started by friends began.
Avigail stabilized again, since then we enjoy our little family. We feel Gd's care for our family. Protected under His loving right hand. He is our strength, our joy and our shelter.
We live between hope and fear.
We are aware that the situation can be very different in a few hours, days or weeks.
The hospital period was tough.
Up and down to the hospital, leaving one child to be with another child.
Feeling inadequate for both and your partner was difficult. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring or next week is exhausting. Not knowing what the perspective is and for how long.
We cannot live otherwise than by day. We know the medical facts. But we also know that we have a G-d of life, restoration and miracles.
As I write this Avigail is sitting comfortably on Mum's lap, with her eyes open. Listening to what she is hearing. A full belly from the bottle Daddy gave her, after which Dad often reads a book in Hebrew.
Her lip stained a little blue from the medicine droplets she gets for prevention against epilepsy.
Yosef is standing in the box with his hands in front of his face playing the peek-a-boo game.
We have a good day again.