We are currently counting the omer. For those who do not know what this is: G-d commanded (Leviticus 23: 15-16) that we count 7 full weeks from the Shabbat in Passover, 50 days we must count to the next harvest festival where we offer a grain offering. From this counting comes the word shavu'ot which means weeks. Better known by many as Pentecost. Pentecost comes from the Greek word pentekoste which means 50. (There are 50 days between Easter and Pentecost, so that is because of God's command to his people.)
Counting, I've been doing this for weeks. We have Avigail at home for almost weeks. After 15 weeks in the hospital. When Avigail was 100 days old, a nurse gave her a 100 day diploma. Probably this was not standard practice. Diplomas at 1 or 2 kilos are regular given, but not for 100 days. I suspect this was the love of the nurse who knew so well that Mommy was keeping track of the days so well.
When I scroll back through my notebook, where I actually had not registered much because I did not want to record all the difficult moments on paper but also did not want to forget everything, I wrote November 2, 2020. (Avigail is 4 days old then)
The road ahead may be long, but I asked Gd to teach me to count the days following Psalm 90:
"So teach us to count our days when wisdom fills our hearts (...) show us Your grace, Lord, our G-d. Confirm the work of our hands, the work of our hands, confirm that. ”
This psalm is often in my mind.
On the Shabbat before the ceder meal or by some more commonly known as the evening of the last supper, Avigail was 150 days. That night we commemorated deliverance from slavery.
G-d deliver his people from Egypt.
(We also look forward to redemption for Avigail, that G-d may restore her.)
Pieter and I secretly hoped that we would not have to celebrate this special celebration in sorrow, somewhere we could not believe that either. Pieter himself wanted to fast for Avigail the day before this festival (there is a fasting calendar for Avigail on this website under the heading: Avigail) Maybe because we so hoped that Avigail could experience this with us. We had a wonderful feast. Without bread, with matzo and matzo balls. ☺
We are now counting to the next festival. Every evening Pieter colors an ear of wheat on the calendar with Avigail. As you can see, we have been counting for 3 weeks.
We look forward to G-d's next party in joy with our 4th and guest (s).
Avigail still seems to change little in our opinion. She is growing, she is really becoming a big baby, size 50 has really disappeared from the closet for a while. She likes to drink a lot and while drinking she can look at us with her blue eyes so beautifully and penetratingly.
Today we walked together. Sun in our face. We feel happy and blessed.
G-d sees us. He carries us in His hand. I can write many examples and encouragements about this, but hopefully sometime later. Yosef seems to be more and more of a big brother.
Sometimes wants to share his drink with her, she is also allowed to lie in his bed from time to time. But he also wants to sit on our lap when Avigail is on our lap, then he can pushing her sometimes, as a big brother would do.
Pieter has gone back to work, not yet fully but back to work.
This is ok. We are good.
Avigail has been living for over 170 days, 15 + 9 weeks.
Thank you for all these days and weeks for your compassion with us and prayer.
It helps.